Funny Complaint Letter #4

Our honeymoon accommodation left a little to be desired...

Dear Shangri-Blah Hotel,

We write to advise that when Mick Jagger sang that he couldn't get no satisfaction, he must have been describing your hotel.

Booking the Shangri-La Cairns for Monday 23 - Sunday 29 August 2010, we had high expectations, given its luxury reputation, price tag and the fact we indicated we were honeymooners when booking.

The impression left by your hotel was so far below our expectations, it was crowned World Limbo Champion 2010.

Picture this: we arrive at 1pm for check-in, decidedly un-fresh from our red-eye flight from Adelaide. We are told our room is not ready and to return at 2pm (fair enough, that's the official check-in time). We return at 2pm to be told your computer system has crashed and housekeeping is behind schedule. We wait TWO AND A HALF HOURS and watch the 50 or so other customers milling around served ahead of us until we are among the last couple of room refugees left. Let me tell you, this sucked harder than a high-class call girl.

We approach reception, who claim to know nothing of our honeymoon bonus, but finally our room is ready. On trudging to the ends of the earth, we discover no, housekeeping needs another 20 minutes with our room. The fellow toting our luggage, Max, rings downstairs and when he asks to speak with Aurelie on the desk, is met with confusion about who she is (what the hell?). On returning to the front desk, we ask to speak with the manager. Javier materialises and leads us into the Horizon Club lounge, seeming to think this is a special treat, rather than something we are already entitled to with our room rate. He promises we will be compensated in some way and that our room will be ready in 10 minutes. Twenty minutes later, it is, after we have asked to speak with Javier again and are assured this will happen.

Javier and the promised compensation never arrive. Our honeymoon champagne and cheese bonus rock up the next day at a very inconvenient time for us (we were, ahem, indisposed).

Amidst all this bumbling, the ONE shining light in customer service was Max on the baggage/concierge desk. He was entirely understanding and helpful, giving us excellent restaurant recommendations when requested.

Given the fact our first night at your hotel was entirely ruined, we request that, at the least, you refund our room rate for that night. However, if you would like to convert us from thoroughly dissatisfied customers to the kind of disciples that sing your praises at every opportunity, you could always surprise us by showing exemplary customer service now and go above and beyond. Now is your chance to redeem the name of Shangri-La in our eyes and those of our friends. We hope to hear your response in 7 days detailing how you will resolve this matter.

Cairns is a truly lovely destination and it is unfortunate our trip was marred by the poor service we experienced.

Yours sincerely,

Angry at the Shangri

aka Rebecca Doyle and Adam Douglas


UPDATE: WANT TO KNOW THE ENDING TO THIS TALE OF WOE? CHECK IT OUT HERE!