One woman's mission to win as many prizes as possible...

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Roadtest #1: Funny Complaint Letters... Part 2

Dear Nature's Organics,

Where did our relationship go wrong? When we first met, you smelled of vanilla berry and wild lavender and lovingly caressed my hands. Our love blossomed, we set up house together and shared the household chores, you helping me wash my dishes and clothes. More recently, you bathed me in creme brulee and it was bliss. I love that you are free from cruelty and care for the environment.

However, our life together has been shattered. Your latest incarnation, Dry Moist Shampoo, does not care for me. He's ugly and he smells bad. He's also a liar, leaving me feeling damaged and unhealthy.

I feel betrayed.

Berry Dissatisfied and Seeking a Fruitful Resolution,

Rebecca Doyle
The response:
Dear Rebecca,

Thank you for contacting us regarding the disappointing experience you have had with Organic Care dry moist shampoo. We changed our hair care in order to use more environmentally sustainable ingredients but unfortunately these don’t agree with everyone.

I would appreciate it if you could reply with the batch code on the bottle. It can be found on the back of the bottle below the cap and will look like this: 02058 12:25. I will refund your purchase by way of a supermarket voucher (Coles or Woolworths/Safeway, your choice) as customer satisfaction is our number one priority.

I understand that monetary compensation will in no way make up for the broken heart you have so clearly suffered, but I do hope it may give you some closure, and allow you to move on. Please respond with your postal address as soon as you feel able, and I will get your voucher out to you so you can close this most distressing part of your life.

Kind regards,

Customer Service

P.S. Thank you for your (extremely) witty email!!
Success!! We received a $5 Coles gift card.

Wanna read my first funny complaint? See my Stamford Plaza hotel complaint letter.

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